Compensation?

I haven't fed you any Art for a while. Gomenasai.Here is some (you would agree) long overdue...em...Art.

Samuel Ryan: Faculty of the Neon Hearts


Frea McGines: Faculty of the Neon Hearts


Ripley Weber: Faculty of the Neon Hearts

There, I hope you're satisfied. Or at least slightly less hungry.

About That Test...

Today was D-Day for the entire test shit. I won. Sure, I forgot some points, but all in all, it was good. Was supposed to have a practical after the test, so I walked in, grabbed by book, signed attendance and bailed. I'm just not in the mood.

Today better be fucking awesome. Or God's hot-line would be busy for a while...

"God?"
"Yes, child?"
"I'm angry"
"At who?"
"Why the hell do you think I'm talking to you?"

Or something like that.
Forgive me. I only had three hours of sleep.

In Other News: I'll be going to Bantima (some other region of Kumasi) this weekend. Hope I don't get robbed. Heard some bad news about it on Monday.

Elevated Stress Levels

I was serious about the "see you tomorrow" part.

Hi. How you doing?

Me? Not so good. I'm exhausted. Wrote an impromptu test this morning. The test tomorrow is really getting to me. I've been studying and discussing bacteria for almost four hours.

No, there's no bacteria like that. There's none named after her sister either- what's her name...Syringe?

Nope. Nothing for Oprah. Or Tyra. Or Ellen DeGeneres. But there's Brucella. Maybe that was for Bruce Willis. Who knows?

Dammit, I'm sure. There's nothing like that.

Okay, If you ask me that one more time, I'll kick you. There's nothing like fucking Beyoncella!

I'm not having this conversation.

Hontou Gomenasai!

I apologize for the irregularities in my postings. This is because in third year Med school, you're given less time to fuck around. That and the issue with my laptop's wireless.
For those of you who haven't noticed (and most likely have IQs less than 70), I have taken a keen interest in Japanese. No, it's not for signing a business deal to illegally import pirated Acer laptops from a guy in the backstreets of Yokohama; and No, it's not for understanding intimate messages sent by a hot Asian chick I met on Bebo. It's simply so I can understand Anime without the subtitles. And maybe watch untranslated hardcore Hentai.

I'm a pervert, lock me up.

Ghana is hot, School sucks, Weekends are the SHIT.
And in other news: I have two major tests coming up. I'll see you tomorrow.

Tadaima!

It's been several months (specifically, two months, three days and about eighteen hours) since I last visited my hovel of...well, hovel. This is because my laptop's wireless adapter blew to smithereens (you'll know this already if you've been reading along) and I can't bring myself to blog from my phone, where typing is epic hell. I know, I know, "Get a PDA". I'll have you know that I plan to. Sometime. Next year. Possibly.

As for what's been up with yours truly, I'll sive you as brief a summary as humanly possible.
- Got back from London
- Went back to school in Ghana.
- Went for as many classes as I could.
- Generally fucked around.
- Watched a guy burn his mouth after trying a "fire breather" stunt yesterday morning. Classic.
- Got bloody wasted last night at Sister's house and puked my heart out.
- I'm here now. Hug me.

Hope to bl0g more often in the coming days. And I'll like to give a shout out to all my fellow Ubuntu Warriors out there.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION?"
"AUUU! AUUU! AUUUU!!"

Don't ask any questions.

Being in the Queen's Country.

For those who don't know, I'm in London. It's summer, but it's cold and annoyingly windy. At least to me, who's coming from 30-degree Nigeria. It's generally expensive, and people could stand to be nicer, but still, it's more than a massive improvement from the living conditions in my [not so] great country. And I'm blogging from my phone.

It's HELL.

It's 19:17 and still really bright. Still can't get over it...

Experimenting With Plants

I must confess I was a bit surprised by our maid's excitement at discovering Aloe Vera in our backyard. I was even more surprised at how she willingly cut off a few stalks, split them open and proceeded to rub the transparent gelatinous contents through her hair. And more stunned at how impressed she was with her hair, which was now standing stiff on end and making her look like one of those buttwipes from DragonBall-Z.
But the biggest shock was at the results. I SWEAR I believed all her hair was going to fall off.
Quite the opposite, in fact.
It looked...good. After she washed it off, that is. Hence why the stuff is thrown into almost everything.

But, as rule 34 of the internet goes, if it exists there's porn of it.
Finally, something that could prove this rule wrong. Or maybe I just couldn't find anything.
There just might be hope for the human race...

In Other News: I'm in Lagos. Leaving for the UK tomorrow. Flight was hell, and we had to go through Rain and turbulence, leaving me with a fucking enormous headache.

More AWESOME Art.

Dragged out of the Psychosis Archives, here's more FNH stuff.


Image: Rodney Weber/Winter

Stupid African internet made uploading this picture HELL, and I had to delete the first upload because blogger ruined it as a JPEG image, which meant reuploading it as a PNG file (since blogger, doesn't fuck with those).

As the Japanese say, Kawai desu ne?

The Rant Letters: Celebrity Magazines.

Dear Sleb Mags,

I applaud your mooching off the low self confidences of our general populace with your endless displays of the expensive and fabulous lives of our celebrities. I acknowledge that the hero worship and groupie-mania that exists in our modern day "culture" powers your jobs, and in an effort to pay the bills, you have been reduced to following these bratty and perhaps brain-dead individuals wherever they go. I also understand clearly the need to repeatedly turn us green with envy as a market strategy by telling us with excruciating detail just how much these "important" people spend on nonsensities.

But what I do not quite get is the publishing of the wholly irrelevant actions that they perform. [Hilarious] Nervous Breakdown, YES. Catfight in lesbian bar, YES. Brutal domestic violence involving some singer from Barbados, YES.
But:
Paris Hilton walking her dogs? NO. Pamela Anderson brushing her teeth? NO. Leona Lewis drinking a smoothie? FUCK NO.

I fear it's only a matter of time before we get a headline that reads "Celebrities poop? No WAY!"

Everything else you do, particularly chasing them with the flashing lights while asking inane questions, is laudable. Serves them right for having more money than the rest of us.

I recommend brighter bulbs.


Your Celebrity-hating Scientist
Dexter-san.

In other News: Mum left for Tanzania today. Safest journeys. One more week and I'm out of this stupid country.

About that Mold

Failing in all other attempts to slaughter the birds that have been bugging me all holiday, I was reduced to opted for giving them a stomach upset by feeding them moldy grain. The process of getting the mold on the grain was initially...problematic, but thanks to high humidity conditions around Africa's equatorial region where this [less than] great country is located, it was all fixed. As such I present:

AMAZING DISCOVERY #15: How To Grow Mold On Any Food Of Your Choice In Equatorial Africa.
1. Sprinkle water on the food.
2. Leave it outside.
3. Wait. Depending on where you are, this could take between three days (standard) and five minutes (Ajugunle, Lagos).

If any birds puke on your roof within the next two weeks, well, you have been warned.